You can have an incredible lesson, a beautiful resource, and a carefully planned unit. But if your students cannot engage with what is happening in the room, teaching can quickly feel like a losing battle.
When that happens, most of us begin looking for another classroom management strategy.
What consequence should I use? How can I get students to listen? What should I do when a student refuses to participate, talks over me, or rolls their eyes from the back of the room?
But we may be missing an important part of the puzzle:
What might this behavior be communicating?
That question was at the center of my conversation in Episode 202 of Growing With Proficiency The Podcast with Hélène Colinet, a French teacher and teacher educator who helps language teachers create lessons that are more aligned with language acquisition. Through her training in nervous system regulation and somatic practices, Hélène has also developed another lens through which she considers student behavior.
This is not a conversation about excusing behavior or removing boundaries. It is about becoming curious enough to respond instead of immediately reacting, while continuing to protect an environment of respect and learning.
And let me tell you, this conversation gave me so much to think about.
What Might a Behavior Be Communicating?
When a student puts their head down, refuses to participate, or responds defiantly, it is easy to immediately draw conclusions about that student:
They are lazy.
They do not care.
They are disrespectful.
They are trying to challenge me.
But those are interpretations, not observations.
What we may actually observe is that a student is sitting in the back, rolling their eyes, talking to someone else, or not completing the task.
Hélène invited us to pause before assigning a motive and consider another possibility: What we see as a discipline problem may sometimes be connected to dysregulation.
She was also very clear that we cannot look at one behavior and know exactly what it means. There is no chart that allows us to say, “If a student does this, it is always because of that.” Every student is different, and the same behavior can have many possible explanations.
For example, what we interpret as laziness may sometimes happen when a student feels overwhelmed by too much input or does not have enough time to process. Defiance may be connected to anxiety or to a student protecting their image in front of peers. Disengagement may be a form of protection when a situation feels like too much.
And sometimes, Hélène reminded us, the student’s reaction may have little to do with our lesson. They may still be carrying something that happened before class or at home.
These are possibilities, not diagnoses.
The goal is not to assume that we know what is happening inside a student. Instead, we can move from immediate judgment to observation and curiosity:
- What am I actually observing?
- What might this behavior be communicating?
- Could something in this lesson be creating overwhelm or disconnection?
- What can I adjust while still maintaining the expectation?
A behavior can be disruptive and still communicate that something is happening beneath the surface. Considering that possibility does not require us to excuse the behavior.
It may, however, help us avoid turning the situation into a public battle over who will have the last word.
Safety and Boundaries Can Coexist
Hélène emphasized a point I do not want us to miss: Creating safety does not mean eliminating challenges, removing boundaries, making everything easy, or justifying every behavior.
We still need clear expectations and boundaries.
What can change is how we communicate them.
Hélène shared that, in the past, she might have approached a student publicly, announced a punishment, and continued the exchange as it escalated in front of the class.
Now, she approaches the student, lowers herself to the student’s level, and speaks quietly so the conversation remains as private as possible.
Her message is essentially:
I do not know what is happening for you right now, but I can see that you are having difficulty following the lesson. I cannot interrupt the lesson right now, but I am available to talk with you afterward. Until then, I need you to allow the other students to continue learning.
In the example she shared, Hélène may allow the student to stop participating temporarily as long as the student does not disrupt everyone else’s learning.
The expectation remains clear. The student is offered an option, the class continues, and the interaction does not become a public power struggle.
If the student chooses not to stay and talk afterward, Hélène does not chase them down or force the conversation in that moment. She checks in the next day:
Are you okay today? Do you feel ready to follow the lesson? Is there something I can do to help you?
And yes, Hélène was honest: This is not easy.
Responding calmly requires us to notice and regulate our own reactions first.
Five Practices That Support Regulation and Language Acquisition
One of my biggest takeaways from this conversation was that the practices that may support regulation are not separate from acquisition-driven instruction. Many are also fundamental elements of a comprehensible and communicative classroom.
1. Learn and Use Your Students’ Names
One of Hélène’s first priorities is learning every student’s name.
With classes of 37 students, I know how easily some students can feel invisible. Calling a student by name creates what Hélène described as proximity. It communicates:
I see you. You are part of this community.
Creating community is not an extra activity we do after the “real” teaching. It helps establish the conditions students need to engage with us, with one another, and with the language. And we can start the very first day of class.
2. Slow Down and Check for Comprehension
Sometimes students begin to disconnect when they stop understanding.
When our input moves too quickly, a student may turn to a classmate and ask what we said. Another may withdraw or distract the people around them instead of publicly admitting they are lost.
That is why slowing down, speaking clearly, and checking for comprehension matter.
As Hélène pointed out, putting an “I don’t understand” poster on the wall is not enough. We must teach students how to use it and show them that asking for clarification helps everyone.
When a student tells Hélène they do not understand, she responds:
“Thank you! You’re helping me to do my job, a better job. Thank you very much.”
That response transforms “I don’t understand” from a possible source of embarrassment into useful feedback. It helps us keep the input comprehensible while showing students that they are active participants in the communication process.
Hélène also reminded us that rushing through an entire program is not necessarily evidence that students have learned it. It may be more valuable to slow down and teach fewer things well than to cover everything while students struggle to process or remember it.
3. Build Predictable Classroom Routines
Predictable routines help students know what is coming next. That familiarity can reduce uncertainty and free more of their attention for understanding the language and engaging with the message.
Predictability does not mean every class must be identical. As Hélène explained, the structure can remain familiar while the stories, questions, cultural content, and conversations provide variety.
Consider routines such as:
- Question of the Day
- Calendar Talk
- Student interviews
- Write and Discuss
- Independent reading
- A consistent closing reflection
Students do not need to wonder how every part of the class works. They can use that mental energy to understand and communicate.
4. Use Stories to Build Meaning and Community
Hélène also named stories as a powerful classroom practice.
Stories give students opportunities to experience meaning, emotion, prediction, and connection. In a language class, a story gives everyone something to understand and respond to together.
The language serves the message, and the shared message can help build community.
5. Include Brain Breaks and Body Breaks
We cannot expect students to sustain constant attention for an entire class period, especially during a 90-minute block.
Pauses and breaks matter.
Many teachers already use brain breaks, but Hélène invited us to consider the difference between a brain break and what she calls a body break. Sometimes students do not need another quiet mental activity. They may need intentional movement.
That does not mean creating chaos or asking everyone to jump around the room. Students can stretch, shake out their arms, walk briefly, or complete a controlled movement while remaining in their own space.
Hélène described movement as particularly useful when students seem too restless or agitated to settle into a quieter activity.
During our conversation, I also reflected on how different students may need different kinds of pauses. Some may benefit from movement, while others may need a quiet break from input. As teachers, we sometimes project what works for us onto our students, even though they may need something completely different.
The important question becomes:
What kind of break might help these students become ready to engage again?
The Most Powerful Classroom Management Strategy
Near the end of our conversation, Hélène said something I have continued thinking about:
“The most powerful classroom management is not a strategy. It’s a regulated teacher.”
Systems, scripts, consequences, and routines can help. But the way we use them changes when our own nervous system is already overwhelmed.
Hélène did not present self-regulation as something we master once. She described it as a long, ongoing process of observing our patterns and noticing when we begin to disconnect from our bodies.
Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you need to use the bathroom? Are you rushing into class after dealing with traffic or another stressful situation?
Teachers become very good at ignoring those signals. We teach through hunger, postpone bathroom breaks, and use lunch to make copies. Then a student pushes a boundary when our bodies may already be communicating, I cannot handle one more thing.
Hélène’s supports are small and personal. She arrives with enough time to prepare without rushing. She brings herbal tea and snacks. She wears comfortable shoes. She opens a window between classes when possible. She may take a short walk outside, meditate, or practice breathwork.
These are not universal solutions. Hélène encouraged each teacher to observe what helps them feel more comfortable, grounded, and present in their body.
For me, it may be taking a sip of very cold sparkling water before I respond.
For you, it may look completely different.
Before addressing a difficult situation, Hélène suggests pausing to breathe through the nose and notice your feet on the floor. Those few seconds can create a little more space between what happens and how we respond.
Why Co-Regulation Matters in the Classroom
Hélène ended our conversation with one more important idea: co-regulation.
She described co-regulation as the way our nervous-system states can influence the people around us. A group can affect our state, and our state can affect the group. According to Hélène, that influence can move in a positive or negative direction.
This is not about blaming teachers for student behavior or pretending that a calm teacher can solve every problem.
It is about recognizing that what we bring into an interaction may raise or lower its intensity.
When we notice our breathing, feel our feet on the floor, and give ourselves a moment before responding, we have more space to choose our next action instead of reacting automatically.
A Different Lens for Classroom Management
There is no magic solution for student behavior. Humans and their nervous systems are far too complex for one explanation or one script to work every time.
But we can begin with a different lens.
We can observe before assigning a motive.
We can remain curious without diagnosing.
We can create safety while maintaining clear boundaries.
We can slow down, keep language comprehensible, establish predictable routines, tell stories, include movement, and avoid turning a difficult moment into a public power struggle.
And we can pay attention to our own state because the way we enter an interaction can influence the connection, comprehension, and communication we want in our classes.
These practices do not guarantee perfect behavior. But they can help us create conditions in which students have a better opportunity to engage, communicate, and acquire language.
Listen and Keep Learning
Listen to the full episode of Growing With Proficiency: The Podcast for my complete conversation with Hélène Colinet. You will hear more about the lens of nervous system regulation, how Hélène responds to difficult classroom moments, and the small practices she uses to support her own regulation.
You can also continue learning from Hélène through her website and Instagram.
If this conversation gave you a different lens, share the episode with a teacher who may need it. Then come find me on Instagram at @claudiamelliott and tell me:
What is one small practice that helps you feel more regulated during the school day?
For more support creating a communicative, acquisition-driven classroom with clear routines and practical strategies, learn more about Growing With Proficiency: The Spanish Teacher Academy.
