As world language teachers, we understand that comprehensible input is essential for language acquisition.
Our job is to make the language comprehensible, and our students’ job is to listen with the intention to understand. When language is comprehensible and comprehended, acquisition happens.
That sounds simple enough, right? But in practice, doing this in the classroom can be challenging. And that’s why you’re going to love the conversation I had with my friend, Becca Silver, an instructional coach and the CEO of The Whole Educator.
The Moment Every Teacher Knows
We plan lessons with care—following cycles that establish meaning, activate prior knowledge, and connect with students. Maybe we’re in the middle of a picture talk, a story, or a clip chat.
And then it happens…
We ask a question, and we’re met with blank stares.
In those moments, it’s so easy to feel frustrated. Our minds start racing:
- “They should be able to answer this question.”
- “They should be more interested.”
- “They should be more engaged. This is so comprehensible!”
That’s exactly where I found myself a few days ago. And that’s when I had a powerful conversation with Becca that we are sharing with you today.
The Trap of “Shoulds”
Becca introduced me to the concept of the “should.”
At first, I didn’t realize how much I was living in the world of shoulds—what I thought students should be able to do, how they should behave, how they should engage.
But here’s the truth:
- A should is meeting expectations with judgment.
- It resists the reality of what’s happening in front of us.
- And what we resist, persists.
Becca put it perfectly:
“We are resisting the people that are not meeting our expectations
. And the issue with resistance is what we resist persists. So, we are inadvertently keeping around the very thing we don’t want to keep around with our shoulds.”
In other words, when we push against the blank stares or the silence, we actually hold onto it even more.
Shifting Into Curiosity
Becca reminded me that our role as educators is not to fight reality but to find ways to support students where they are.
That doesn’t mean ignoring our goals or letting go of expectations. It means replacing judgment with curiosity.
Instead of:
- “They should know this already.”
Try: “What support do they still need to feel successful?”
Instead of:
- “They should care more about Spanish.”
Try: “What might spark curiosity for them in this moment?”
This shift changes everything. Curiosity keeps us creative, compassionate, and focused on solutions.
3-Step Protocol
Of course, this is easier said than done. When you’re standing in front of 30 students staring back at you in silence, it’s hard not to default to frustration.
That’s why I loved Becca’s simple 3-step protocol for catching ourselves in the moment:
1️⃣ Identify your feelings.
Pause and notice: Am I feeling frustrated, disappointed, maybe even disrespected? Naming it helps you create space before reacting.
2️⃣ Acknowledge the reality.
Instead of pushing against what’s happening, recognize: “Right now, my students aren’t responding. That’s the reality.”
3️⃣ Get curious.
Ask: “What’s getting in the way for them? What’s one small thing I can do to support them right now?”
This mindset doesn’t just change our reactions—it reshapes the classroom dynamic.
A Story From My Classroom
Just this week, I had a student who simply wasn’t responding. No matter how I asked, scaffolded, or slowed down, he stayed silent.
Instead of staying stuck in the shoulds, I tried something different:
- I showed him again the glossary of the book we were reading.
- I asked if he wanted to read with me. He said no—the glossary would be enough.
- So I told him to write on a post-it note a few ideas he understood.
At the end of class, he handed me the post-it with a few ideas. It felt like a win. Is it going to be a great next class with him? Probably not. It is evident that the frustration he has in the class is big. However, I could feel that I was building trust with him. Slowly, he might become more open to asking for help.
And in the moment, giving him that small choice and alternative way to show comprehension kept both of us from spiraling into frustration.
I have to be honest with him. Moving from should to curiosity is not easy, but I discovered something super helpful: a quick brain break.
When I feel the frustration and I notice I am moving to the shoulds, I slow down and take a brain break. These breaks give me enough time to be creative and think how to adjust.
We’re All Making a Mess
One of my favorite moments in this conversation was when Becca said:
“We’re shoulding everywhere and making a mess. We’re shoulding on ourselves, we’re shoulding on other people, we’re shoulding everywhere.”
That’s exactly what happens in our classrooms. We should our students. We should ourselves. We should everyone. And before we know it, we’re buried under a mess of expectations that no one can meet.
But when we drop the shoulds and pick up curiosity, we step out of the mess and into possibility.
Final Thoughts
Expectations are an important part of our classes and we need to keep them. We all want our students to engage, to respond, to care as much as we do. But when we get caught in the world of shoulds, we end up in judgment and resistance.
By shifting into curiosity, we stay open, flexible, and student-centered—the kind of teachers we want to be.
✨ If this resonated with you, don’t miss the full conversation with Becca on the podcast. It’s packed with insights you can take straight into your classroom.
🎧 Read More Episodes Here
Connect with Becca:
- 🌐 The Whole Educator
- 📸 Instagram: @thewholeeducator
- 💼https://www.linkedin.com/in/becca-silver/
- 🎧 The Whole Educator Podcast
